"Relationship or Ghost?": What Is Situationship and Why Is It Tiring Turkish Youth?

Living with "Am I Their Partner or Not?"

Met 3 months ago. 4 nights a week of conversation. Weekend time together, family mentioned, future discussed — yet "what are we?" hangs in the air. No social media tags. Friends introduced as "a friend." Vacations planned but "I don't want a relationship right now" said.

This is the new-generation relationship form young clients complain about most: situationship. Neither partner nor friend. Neither monogamous nor open. In one word: uncertainty.

"3 years passed. Still haven't met his family. No photo together on social media. Yet every morning I text him 'good morning'. I don't even know what I am in this relationship." — 27, female (anonymous)

Modern Dating Dictionary

Traditional relationship, dating, situationship, benching, breadcrumbing, ghosting, orbiting — all distinct. Situationship overlaps with many.

Why So Common in Gen Z and Young Millennials?

Dating app economy ("paradox of choice"), avoidant attachment's ideal habitat, post-pandemic socialization deficits, and performance fatigue lowering commitment thresholds.

Psychological Cost

Self-esteem erosion, chronic attachment anxiety, depressive symptoms in both parties. Even the "low-effort" partner suffers — superficial closeness doesn't replace deep closeness.

Collision with Turkish Culture

Turkish family insists on defined relationships. The "is this serious?" question creates squeeze. Common clinic profile: 28+ female, 3-4 years of "something," no concrete step. Clinically: "suspension trauma."

8 Signs You're in a Situationship

1. Don't know how to describe it
2. "What are we?" hangs long
3. Not reflected on their social media
4. Haven't met their family
5. Only short-term plans
6. Hear "why do you think so much?"
7. One-sided effort
8. "I don't want a relationship right now" repeatedly

3+ "yes" — you're in one.

How to Have the DTR Conversation

Avoid: fights, alcohol, threats, text messages, late nights. Healthy: blame-free, "I language," open-ended questions, thinking space.

Clinically: someone still saying "I don't know" after 3-6 months is not "not knowing" but "not wanting to say."

If You Decide to Leave

Grief: denial, bargaining, anger, sadness, acceptance. Tools: no-contact (90+ days), social media cleansing, symbolic closure, supportive friends who say "this shouldn't have been done to you."

Building Yourself for a Healthy Relationship

• Clear communication
• Boundary setting
• Written values list
• Exit the "always available" trap

How We Work at Alfi

At our Maltepe office (in-person or online), we work individually and as couples. Attachment profile analysis, relationship history mapping, boundary work. Schema therapy addresses "inadequacy" and "emotional deprivation" patterns in relationship choice.

See our Couples Therapy or Psychological Counseling, schedule from our appointment page.